How to improve self esteem

As part of my adult journey, I have struggled with self esteem.  I changed my career from working in financial services to becoming a hypnotherapist.  And you know what it was the best thing that I have ever done.  I am not being ruled by anyone, I am not being told what to do and having people making me doubt myself. My self esteem has improved so much.  I am not suggesting you go out and change you career but there are lots of things that you can do to help you improve your self esteem.  

We are constantly taking in messages via our subconscious mind without even realising it.  It is important to surround ourselves with people that are going to champion us rather  have then negative nellies around us.

So let’s understand more about self esteem first. 

What does it really mean?  Or how do we actually interpret it? It actually means having confidence in one’s own worth and abilities or in other words (self respect)

So why is it that us business owners, self employed, CEO, Directors, Mum’s at home what ever we are, have moments of low self esteem?

Why do we doubt our ability to do things, who are we comparing ourselves with?

Lots of questions I know.  But these are the common things that come up when I am working with my clients.

Let’s start at the beginning and really understand the different types of Self esteem.  Inflated self esteem, this means that you feel that you are better than others and may look down on others.  (I am sure you have met these types of people before)

High Self esteem, this is where in an ideal world you would want to be.  You are accepting of your own worth.  You value yourself and you believe in your abilities.

The benefits of having high self esteem it can heavily influence your choice and decisions.  In other words self esteem can act as a motivator, it can motivate you to strive and thrive in life.  To take care of yourself and explore your full potential.

Low self esteem, this is where you do not have the belief in your own abilities, your confidence is low.  Having low self esteem can really reduce the quality of life in many different ways.  There can be lots of negative feelings, we can be very self critical.  There can be lots of anger involved, shame or guilt.  We can suffer with anxiety or depression.

Signs of low self esteem we can be very sensitive to criticism, headaches, insomnia and become withdrawn from social events.

So now we know what it is, what can we do to boost our Self esteem and build ourselves back up.

I like to share a list of Daily Habits that you can use.

  1. SMILE: I know this might seem really simple, but it takes more effort and energy to be miserable and frowning.  If you smile, other people will smile back and that in turn will make you feel so much better.
  2. EXERCISE: you haven’t got to run a marathon but some gentle exercise daily will help to reduce stress and anxiety as it creates endorphins the feel good hormones.  Do something that you enjoy.  It could be as simple as walking round the block after lunch or dinner.
  3. SLEEP: Most people need 7-8 hours of sleep a night.  It is important to have a sleep routine.  So go to bed at the same time and get up at the same time even at weekends.  Reserve an hour before bed time, to stop watching TV, scrolling on your phone.  Do something relaxing like having a bath, read your favourite book.  Ensure your bedroom is dark and cool, have nice bedding on.  If you are going to nap in the day only do this for 20 minutes.
  4. EAT WITH MOOD IN MIND.I know this might seem obvious but you will be very surprised how food can really affect your mood.  Do you ever suffer from the afternoon slump, if you have had a highly processed lunch it can make you feel down and sluggish.  Carbs release serotonin giving you that feel good factor, lean meat, poultry and dairy release dopamine which will give you an energy boost and help with concentration.
  5. BE GRATEFUL: Start each day with gratitude, acknowledge what you are grateful for.
  6. COMPLIMENTS:  Giving someone else a compliment and making them feel better will also make you feel better.
  7. BREATH DEEPLY:  Do breathing exercises daily, use it as part as your daily routine.  These not only help you calm you down and relax you, it will also help you to deal stressful situations in a calm manner with a clear mind.
  8. ACKNOWLEDGE UNHAPPY MOMENTS: Go through the process of the emotions, learn from the experience but move on from it, do not let it manifest into a much bigger situation then it is.
  9. JOURNAL: Along with gratitude write down everyday how your day has gone, how you have been feeling etc, journaling is a great way of having some mindful time.

10.FACE STRESS HEAD ON. Like with anything we don’t like to do, we leave it on the to do list and it never gets done.  Deal with the situation straight away, maybe first thing in the morning, then you will have weight lifted of your shoulders and will be able to get on and have a productive day.

This is not an exhaustive list as there is some much you can do.  The key to it all is to understand and reflect back where you have come from and where you are now.  You have achieved so much.  Remember that you are only a human being and to be kind to yourself.  We are always allowed to have an off day, life is not full of roses, but when it does test you or you are doubting your ability in whatever you are doing.  Use some of the daily habits to boost you back up again.  

Also challenge your negative thoughts or doubts that you have creeping in.  Do you have any evidence what you are thinking is actually true?. Thoughts are NOT facts. Everybody see us differently and they don’t see what you see, so as the old saying goes ‘fake it until you make it’.

If you would like to know more how hypnotherapy can help you to change your mind set and change your negative thinking patterns into positive ones.  Then please do get in touch.

I hope you have enjoyed reading my blog.


Rachel Chapman


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